Pull up a stool, squat on it, and read this because I am not shitting you.
Police are hunting for a woman who has been dubbed the “Mad Pooper” by residents of a Colorado Springs neighborhood who have seen the woman regularly defecating outside their houses.
Police have opened a case against the unidentified poopertrator after receiving multiple complaints from residents of the Pine Creek neighborhood, Lt. Howard Black, a spokesperson for the Colorado Springs Police Department told BuzzFeed News.
Black said that police have received several pictures of the suspect and are still trying to identify her.
The woman — who has been photographed by residents in “running attire” — will be arrested and charged with urination and defecation in public as per city ordinance, Black said.
Black said that the woman may have some mental health issues or may be holding a grudge, but said there was no way of knowing her motives until she was caught and questioned.
“I've been here 35 years almost and I can't recall a case where we have someone making this choice multiple times,” Black said, addressing this unexpected turd of events.
“We need to talk to her to have a better understanding of why these choices are being made.”